Soy, Dairy, Wheat..What?

So, I work at a restaurant/cafe/breakfast joint that specializes in serving Montreal bagels (which are made in the shop in a wood burning oven!) We also serve lattes, cappuccinos and the like. Recently, many women have been bringing in their own gluten-free bagels for us to toast. My cousin, who has Celiac disease, usually just eats breakfast and skips the bagel. I know that wheat, corn, and soy are in just about everything (they're mass produced and cheap).

Also, almost none of my friends drink actual cows milk, and I don't either (at home anyway, I'll drink it in a latte or whatever). I usually drink almond milk, its cheaper, lasts longer, has less sugar, so I feel like its a win-win. I eat meat and a lot of eggs, so I feel that if i have the choice to eat another animal product or something else, I'd rather have the other thing (that was not worded very well, but I hope you understand).

Here's the thing though, I don't really feel comfortable eating soy products (except edamame). I read somewhere that it isn't good to eat soy if breast cancer runs in your family, which it does in mine. Also, tofu and soy milk and pretty processed, which isn't ideal.

I'm really confused about whether I should shy away from soy/tofu, gluten, dairy or what? I would never ACTUALLY give up meat or dairy, but gluten I could definitely live without (have you ever had flourless chocolate cake???)...but tofu? I don't know. Its such an easy addition to sauces and chili when I don't feel like eating meat.

What do y'all think?